||[Jan. 28th, 2017|04:27 pm]
Transitioning into liminal space
|[||State of Being
Danae and I were in Andersonville (northish end of Chicago) for an appointment. Afterward, we stopped at the nearby Brown Elephant thrift store. It's a store in an old theatre that supports the Howard Brown clinic, a medical group that primarily serves the LGBTQ population of Chicago. We picked up a few things for me, including a pair of leather jeans for about $10! They will fit me when I'm again at the weight I was before I gained about 25 pounds while depressed and anxious.
As well as a couple of other great things (I got a t-shirt with a NYC mass transit map on it!), I want to share this super-sparkly green top with you! I found that I was much less uncertain about which items I liked and which I didn't while trying things on. I think I'm better able to hear myself without straining over the now much-reduced cacophony of self-doubt.
I love sparkly things!
Do not doubt yourself. That top is AMAZING.
Thanks! We deserve clothes we feel pretty/cute/excited about/happy with.
Thanks! I really love it. I may actually wear it somewhere!
It's cute! And I'm so glad you are experiencing less self-doubt these days.
Glad you think so!
The Bupropion (I assume) seems to make a significant difference in my ability to be aware of and confident about my own feelings and decisions. It's not an effect I was expecting, but it makes sense in retrospect as part of a reduction of anxiety. It's great!
Oh, that's fabulous! And it looks very good on you!
(I couldn't help but notice that, on the bookshelf above your left shoulder, there's a copy of And The Band Played On. I find it singularly appropriate.)
Thanks so much! It's gratifying that other folks like it too. *bounces*
Those books are some of Danae's, mostly on journalism theory and practice. I've picked up and looked at And the Band Played On and wanted to read it (among so many things) but haven't read it yet. I'm glad you mentioned the books! It reminds me of how long it's been since I've read much of anything for my own interest. I haven't had the concentration for it. In the evenings, when I get the housework done, I've started to feel a little bit at loose ends; I'm going to give some reading a try.
I love seeing people ignore the usual cultural assumptions about clothing, and wear what they feel good in! I've been doing it most of my life (among other things, I refuse to wear skirts or dresses, because I find them awkward and uncomfortable to wear). And I once knew a man who was a transvestite. He wasn't transgendered - he was perfectly cis and perfectly straight. He just resented the fact that, as a man, he couldn't wear pretty clothing, like velvet and lace and ruffles... the only solution was to wear women's clothes. (Of course rock stars could get away with it - everyone from Steven Tyler to David Bowie wore spandex pants, velvet weskits, high heels, even skirts. But most men aren't rock stars.) Glitter on, and be proud of yourself!
And The Band Played On is as much about politics as it is about journalism. You don't have to read it (or any other book in the world) from cover to cover at one go - fifteen minutes with a book and a cup of tea before you go to sleep would be a good beginning.
I remember reading about cross-dressing on the internet way back, probably in the late '90s. One of the type of people who cross-dress, this website explained, are 'freestylers'; people who don't feel that any style of clothing should be restricted to a specific gender. I was puzzled by, and skeptical of the validity of, that at the time, but it makes perfect sense to me now! I just wish I was brave enough to act on that more. Perhaps that will come with time. Thank you for the encouragement!
I should definitely get back to reading fiction. I used to go through piles of books. But ever since I went back to undergrad six years ago, not so much.
Edited at 2017-02-05 05:01 am (UTC)
If you look at history, there have been cultures in which only women wore trousers, while men wore short skirts (or mini-length tunics); cultures in which women were required to wear skirts, usually ankle-length or longer, no matter what activity they were engaged in; even cultures where everybody wore variations on a practical tunic-and-trousers outfit, adapted to suit temperature, durability, and fancy-ness :-)
I have another friend who's a mostly-het-and-cis male, who often asked me where I got some of my more flamboyant (sequinned, metallic, flame-stitch, etc.) tops. I'm a
plus-size gal fat broad, and he's on the chubby side himself. In fact, I once took off my shirt and had him try it on, to determine what "women's" size would fit him. He wasn't even bothering to "wear women's clothes", like the other fellow I mentioned - he was comfortable enough being himself to just wear whatever he liked. It sounds as if you're trending in that direction yourself, and if you want me to keep cheering you on, of course I will! :-D
Photo of the NYC mass transit map shirt please!
I think that could be arranged!