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Transitioning into liminal space

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(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2018|07:10 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |awakeawake]

I really like spending weekend mornings cleaning and doing housework. I pulled a muscle at the shelter on Thursday, though, and it's keeping me from doing much bending or lifting. Or sleeping very well. Or sitting comfortably for that matter. This sucks.

To my amazement, I sold a two-volume set of books on reconstructive surgery for $400 yesterday. After Amazon's fees and the shipping costs, I should make about $350. I saw the sale happen while at work and I got up and walked around the room a bit whispering "Holy shit!" That will cover more than half of the car repairs we just had to get done! Taking all these books home from work is a pain in the butt and our spare room is so full of them, but it's been worth it.
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2018|03:19 pm]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |worriedworried]

It makes me feel really good to take care of the special needs fosters I've had, but it's really stressful sometimes too. Danae told me that Rufus started sezing as she was leaving the house about two hours ago. We were hoping that once he got settled into the new dose of medicine they'd stop, but not yet.

I told her that if she needed to go, he'd be ok closed in the bathroom with some water and blankets, but she wanted to stay and be with him. She is a wonderful doggie mama, and I'm so grateful for her help.

He was still seizing as of a few minutes ago. Two hours is about the longest they've lasted in the past, so I hope he's done soon. I wish I could do more for him.
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(no subject) [Dec. 12th, 2018|07:59 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |creativecreative]

I haven't looked at this photo in a long time and had forgotten how much I like it. Maybe I should print it out to put somewhere.

---ETA

Ok, I printed it out and taped it to the front of our wall-mounted mail slot thingy.

DeKalb County Farm at Sunset
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(no subject) [Dec. 12th, 2018|07:01 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |workingworking]

I read all of Pat Miller's "The Power of Positive Dog Training" (thanks to Lissa Werbos for the recommendation), got a few chapters into Condit's book on American architecture, and then decided I wanted a better knowledge of some basics before reading it so I bought Edward Allen's "How Buildings Work: The Natural Order of Architecture." It arrived yesterday so I started it on the train on the way in.

This is the most I've been reading since grad school. It feels good.

-----------

I knew I was behind on updating Quicken with all my financial transactions. I didn't realize I was quite that far behind. As of yesterday, I'm caught up to this month at least.
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(no subject) [Dec. 10th, 2018|08:30 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |thoughtfulthoughtful]

At the Washington Wells northbound platform this morning, tucked behind a system map in a closed display case.

"Do you know how wonderful it is to wake up every day knowing I have you your beauty & essence is

Truly a Blessing"

Note at Washington Wells CTA Station
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(no subject) [Dec. 8th, 2018|11:54 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |contentcontent]

I'm at the circulation desk at a mostly-empty library today so I brought these with to work with. I'm building circuits and then drawing them out and making notes about how and why they work. I can figure out what readings should be at given points and check with the multi-meter.

Learning About Electronics
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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2018|09:27 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |annoyedannoyed]

So much recent acrimony about "Baby it's Cold Outside" has frustrated me.

It doesn't have to be good or evil. People aren't, for the most part, talking about 'killing it off', whatever that means. I just happen to think that it doesn't belong in the canon of ubiquitous holiday muzak. People can't seem to grasp any position other than there being nothing wrong with it or it being the embodiment of all that is wrong in pop culture.
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(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2018|09:12 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |confusedconfused]

It's a strange world in which if someone wants to give me $10 plus shipping for a book I could lose money on it, but someone can make money selling me an eighty-eight cent dog clicker with free shipping.
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(no subject) [Dec. 6th, 2018|09:14 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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[State of Being |hopefulhopeful]

I spent a while in therapy on the topic of conventions. (Here referring to sci-if/fantasy conventions of the sort I grew up going to with my parents and that I've attended sporadically on my own as an adult.)

I talked about why the programming feels frustrating and how room parties are usually loud and noisy enough to be scary and how I don't know how to meet anyone there I don't already know, and how I don't know if the people I already know who go to them are interested in doing things with me anyway.

"Maybe," they said, "and this is just an idea, you don't actually like conventions?"

What an odd thought. It's actually contrary to some of my self-identity. As a kid, I didn't fit in anywhere except with my family and at conventions where, not coincidentally, I was with my family. I could look around at all the people in costume or carrying bags of gaming stuff and feel like these were people like me. I grew up thinking that those events would be a big part of my social life. Being happy somewhere as a kid, though, doesn't mean you'll fit in there as an adult. Like queer people in very small towns.

A lot of my experiences at cons with my ex were negative. And even without her, being alone at them makes me feel awkward and anxious. Maybe I could alleviate that through working at them and having a sense of purpose. But I don't know if it's what I really want.

What I really want is to be in environments where I can be around just a small group of people and have more intimate conversations than I know how to have at cons. If I knew a group of people to go with it might be different. Maybe that will happen in the future.

So I'm going to look for that and let cons be for now. I feel a mix of negative feelings about them; regret, frustration, anger, sadness. I don't need that. I need something new.

I'm going to try local, recurring, small-scale stuff. I'm planning on a crafting and cuddle event on the 22nd, and a poly meet-up at a restaurant/pub this coming Monday.

My anxiety instills a lot of fear in me that if I don't do everything just right with a new group of people that I will end up alienating them all and losing my chance to get to know them. This is silly and I don't think it will keep me from going.

Another significant barrier is that when it comes time to go somewhere, I never seem to actually want to get dressed and leave the condo. It's actually *really* hard to overcome that inertia. I don't know how to deal with that other than by just somehow forcing myself to do it.
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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2018|09:17 am]
Transitioning into liminal space
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My new purse is here!

The fabric is a little thinner than my last one and I miss having a handle at the top. Regardless, it makes me happy.

Magical Girl Purse/Bag
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